Jokes for 5 Year Olds: Funny and Age-Appropriate Humor

Are you looking for some good jokes to entertain your 5-year-old? Look no further!

Jokes are a great way to bond with your child and make them laugh. Children at this age are beginning to understand humor and love to hear jokes that are silly, funny, and sometimes a little bit gross.

Many types of jokes are perfect for 5-year-olds. From knock-knock jokes to animal jokes, these jokes are simple enough for young children to understand and will have them giggling in no time.

Jokes also a great way to help children develop language skills. They learn new vocabulary and practice their pronunciation.

Whether you are looking for a way to entertain your child on a long car ride or just want to make them laugh before bedtime, your 5 year old will have a great time listening to the ones we have selected below. So, gather your little ones and get ready to laugh together with these kid-friendly jokes that are sure to bring a smile to their faces.

The Art of Kid-Friendly Humor

What Makes a Good Joke for Kids?

As a parent, caregiver, or teacher, you may be wondering what makes a good joke for 5-year-olds. The answer is simple: it should be funny, easy to understand, and appropriate for their age.

When it comes to jokes for 5-year-olds, the humor should be silly, playful, and innocent. Avoid jokes that are too complex or rely on sarcasm or irony. Kids at this age are just starting to understand the concept of humor, so the best jokes should be straightforward to comprehend.

A good joke for kids should also be relatable. Kids at this age are still learning about the world around them, so jokes about everyday objects and animals are a great way to engage them in humor.

For example, jokes about pets, farm animals, and insects are always a hit with 5-year-olds.

Another important aspect of a good joke for kids is that it should be appropriate for their age. Jokes that are too mature or contain inappropriate language or themes should be avoided. Kids at this age are still developing their sense of morality and values, so it’s important to choose jokes that align with their developmental stage.

Animal Antics: Animal Jokes For Kids

Animals are always a hit with kids, especially when it comes to jokes. Here are some animal-themed jokes that are sure to get your 5-year-old giggling.

Why Did the Chicken…?

Chickens are a classic animal when it comes to jokes. Here are a few that are sure to make your little one chuckle:

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!

Why did the chicken cross the beach? To get to the other tide!

What do you call a hen who counts her eggs? A mathema-chicken!

Why did the chicken get a penalty? For fowl play.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from Chick-fil-A!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was trying to get away from the KFC.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

Why did the pillow cross the road? It was picking up the chicken’s feathers. 

Why did the chicken go to the hospital? Because it needed some tweatment!

Why did the dragon cross the road? Because he was too chicken to fly!   

How do you clean a chicken? An egg wash!

How do chickens dance? Chick to chick.

Where does the chicken like to eat? At a rooster-ant!

Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off.

Why did the Easter egg hide? He was a little chicken.

Under the Sea Giggles

Sea creatures are fascinating to most kids, and these jokes will have them laughing like a school of fish:

Why don’t fish like basketball? They’re afraid of the net!

Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Why did the crab never share? Because it’s shellfish!

Why are fish so smart? They live in schools.

What do sea lions say when they hear a bad joke? That’s the seal-iest thing I’ve ever heard.

How do all the oceans say hello to each other? They wave!

What do you get if you cross a fish with an elephant? Swimming trunks.

Why do sharks swim in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

Where do fish keep their money? In the river bank!

What kind of fish only swims at night? A starfish.

What part of a fish weighs the most? The scales.

Why wouldn’t the prawn share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.

Jungle Jests

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! These jungle jokes will have your little one roaring with laughter:

Why did the lion break up with his girlfriend? She was a cheetah!

Why did the polar bear put on a sweater? Because it was cold out-sighed!

Why do giraffes have such long necks? Because their feet smell!

What do you call a tiger that drinks lemonade? A sour puss.

What do you call birds falling in love? Tweet hearts.

Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide? Because it’s always spotted.

What do you get if you cross a beetle and an Australian cattle dog? Dingo Starr.

What did the birds call the owl telling jokes? Hoot-larious.

What type of snake ate all the desserts? A pie-thon.

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.

What did the hawk say when it fell off the branch? Well, this is hawk-ward.

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrele-phant.

What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing? An elephant’s shadow.

What’s a frog’s favorite game? Leapfrog.

What it it called when a dinosaur makes a soccer goal? A dino-score.

What animal do you look like when you get into the bath? A little bear!

What do you call a gorilla with bananas in its ears? Anything you like, he can’t hear you.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!

What do you call a mad elephant? An earthquake!

What do elephants wear to go swimming? Trunks.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course!  The Empire State Building can’t jump!

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed? Your head hits the ceiling!

Why are elephants so wrinkled? Because they take too long to iron!

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Take away her credit card!

Why did the elephant paint himself different colors? So he could hide in the crayon box!

 How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? By the footprints in the butter!

What is the difference between elephants and grapes? Grapes are purple.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? “Here come the elephants!”

What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming? “Here come the grapes!” (She was colorblind.)

What do you call a bear with no ears? B

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer

Why do tigers have stripes? So they don’t get spotted

Friendly Feline

Gather ’round, little kittens, for some purr-fectly friendly feline jokes that’ll have you laughing whisker to tail!

Why don’t cats like online shopping? They prefer a cat-alogue.

What is a cat’s favorite song? Three Blind Mice.

What do cats eat for dessert? Chocolate mouse.

What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies

Why did the cat join the Red Cross? Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit-ten!

Farm Fun

Get ready to crow with laughter, as we plow through some farm-tastic fun jokes that’ll turn the barnyard into a giggle-yard!

What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs!

Why did the duck cross the road? She had to ask the chicken a quacktion.

What do cows read? Cattle-log

Why do ducks make good detectives? They always quack the case

What did the frog order for lunch? A burger and a diet croak!

How do you keep a bull from charging? Take away its credit card!

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him!

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

Why should you never trust a pig with a secret? Because it’s bound to squeal.

What do cows order from? Cattle-logs!

What kind of haircuts do bees get? Buzzzzcuts!

How can you tell if someone is a good farmer? He is outstanding in his field! 

What do you call a man with a shovel? Doug. 

How do you get a squirrel’s attention? Act like a nut.

What do you write in a rabbit’s happy birthday you card? Hoppy birthday!

What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog.

What did the dog magician say? Lab-racadabra!

How much money does a skunk have? One scent.

How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It’s one or the udder.

Who wears shoes while sleeping? A horse.

Why couldn’t the duck stop laughing? He was quacking up.

Why couldn’t the pony sing a song? She was a little horse.

Why did the crab never share? Because he’s shellfish.

Where do cows go for fun? The moo-vies.

What is the name of the horse next door? Neigh-bor.

Why do dogs like cell phones? They have collar ID.

What did the alpaca say when he wanted to go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch.

Why did the turkey join a band? So she could use her drumsticks.

How do bees brush their hair? They use honeycombs.

Why do bees hum? They’ve forgotten the words.

Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies!

 What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean meat!

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!

What animal needs to wear a wig? A bald eagle!

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk!

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs!

What do you call a dog that can tell time? A watch dog!

What side of a turkey has the most feathers? The outside!

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!

What’s gray and goes round and round? An elephant in a washing machine!

Why can’t an egg tell a joke? It will crack up!

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

What do fish play on the piano? Scales!

Where do hamburgers go dancing? A meat ball!

How do billboards talk? Sign language!

What do snakes like to study in school? Hissss-tory!

What kind of music do balloons hate? Pop music.

What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry!

What do you call a cow that can’t moo? A milk dud.

What did the pig say on a hot day? I’m bacon!

What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away? Doggone it!

What do cowboys put on their salads? Ranch dressing!

What do you call a dinosaur in a cowboy hat? Tyrannosaurus Tex!

What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher!

What time is it when a lion walks into a room? Time to leave!

What’s green and not heavy? Light green!

What do you give a hurt lemon? Lemon aid!

What is the most valuable type of fish? A gold fish!

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey.

What kind of music do whales like? They listen to the orca-stra!

Why did the baker put the cake in the freezer? She wanted to ice it!

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick!

What a king’s favorite kind of weather? Rain! (reign)

Why can’t the music teacher start his car? He left his keys on his piano!

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Their middle name!

What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses? A cool coconut!

What do you call a retired vegetable? A has-bean!

What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

What do you call a hen who counts her eggs? A mathema-chicken!

What kind of lion doesn’t roar? A dandelion!

Why aren’t dogs good dancers? They have two left feet

1Where do horse live? Neigghhhh-bourhoods

What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice krispies

What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas

Why did the pony get sent to his room? He couldn’t stop horsing around

What do you get if you cross a cow and a trampoline? Milkshake!

Where do sheep get their hair cut? The baa baas

Food Funnies

If you’re looking for some good laughs to share with your 5-year-old, food jokes are always a great choice. Here are some funny food puns that will have your little one giggling in no time!

Fruit Puns

Fruits are not just healthy, they can be funny too! Here are some fruit puns that will make your child laugh:

Why did the sad strawberry need a hug? Because it was feeling berry blue.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.

Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.

Sweet Treats Humor

Who doesn’t love sweets? Here are some jokes for kids that will make your child’s sweet tooth even sweeter:

What do you call a bear that doesn’t have any teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.

What did the ice cream say when it got to sundae school? “I’m whipped!”

Who’s a dessert’s favorite actor? Robert Brownie, Jr.

What do you cakes and baseball have in common? They both need a batter.

Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake.

Dinner Table Laughter

Dinner time can be fun with these silly jokes:

Which hand is better to write with? Neither. It’s better to write with a pencil!

What did the traffic light say to the truck? Don’t look! I’m changing!

What is the witch’s favorite school subject? Spelling!

How do you make a lemon drop? Just let go of it! 

Why did the teddy bear not want any dessert? Because she was stuffed!

Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly!

What did one plate say to the other? Dinner is on me!

Why do strings never win a race? Because they always tie!

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!

What’s the difference between broccoli and boogers? Kids don’t eat broccoli!

What do you call a flower that runs on electricity? A power plant!

Why couldn’t the pony sing in the choir? Because she was a little horse!

Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he felt crummy!

What kind of room doesn’t have doors? A mushroom!

What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!

Why did the teacher put on sunglasses? Because her students were so bright! 

What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on ahead. (going on a head)

 What can you catch but not throw? A cold!

What has hands but can’t clap? A clock!

Why did the salad go to the dance? To get its dressing.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

What did the bread say to the butter when it got surprised? “I can’t believe it’s not butter!”

Why did the nacho cheese go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little cheesy!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

What did the little corn say to the mama corn? I miss pop corn.

How did the cabbage win the race? It was a-head.

Why are balloons so expensive? Inflation!

What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!

Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed!

How do mountains stay warm in winter? Snowcaps

Why can’t a person’s nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!

What has a ton of ears but can’t hear a thing? A corn field.

What do you call the horse that lives next door? Your neighbor!

What kind of shoes do spies wear? Sneakers!

Why did the man put sugar on his pillow? He wanted to have sweet dreams!

Why did the computer sneeze? Because it had a virus!

What do you call two banana peels? A pair of slippers!

What do you call a cow who gets her way all the time? Spoiled milk!

How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experiments! (experi-mints!)

What is a computer programmer’s favorite snack? Computer chips!

Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don’t know the words!

What do you get on every birthday? A year older!

Why should you not talk to circles? Because there is no point!

Why is it dangerous to play cards in the jungle? Because there are so many CHEETAHS! (cheaters)

How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!

What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weak days.

What animal can you always find at a baseball game? A bat!

What can you catch, but never throw? A cold!

Which letter of the alphabet has the most water? The “C”!

What gets wet while it’s drying? A towel!

Why can’t your head be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!

Playground Punchlines

What’s better than a good joke to make your 5-year-old laugh? A playground joke! Here are some of the best playground punchlines that will have your little one giggling.

Sports Snickers

If your child loves sports, they’ll love these jokes that will have them cheering for more.

  • Why was the baseball game so hot? Because all the players had their fans with them!
  • What do you get when you cross a soccer ball with a kid? A goal-getter!
  • Why did the basketball player go to jail? Because he shot the ball!
  • Why are sports stadiums always so cold? They’re filled with fans.

Schoolyard Chuckles

If your child is in school, they’ll love these jokes that will have them laughing all the way to recess.

  • Why did the teacher tell the student to eat their homework? Because it was a piece of cake!
  • What did the kid cross the playground for? To get to the other slide!
  • Why did the pencil go to the principal’s office? Because it was sharp!
  • What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.

Fantasy and Fairy Tale Fun

If your 5-year-old loves fantasy and fairy tales, then get ready to tickle their funny bone with these magical jokes.

Magical Mirth

  • Why is Cinderella bad at sport? Because she’s always running away from the ball
  • What do you get when Cinderella runs away from the ball at midnight? Pumpkin pie!
  • Why did the pony sing a lullaby? Because she was a little horse!
  • What do you get when a dinosaur crosses the road? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
  • Why did the triceratops sit on his own tail? To keep it from running away!
  • What goes “Ha ha ha…..THUD!”? A monster laughing his head off.
  • How do you talk to a giant? Use big words!
  • Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire Frostbite!
  • Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrhhhhh!
  • Whats a pirate’s favourite letter of the alphabet? The C
  • What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey
  • What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved
  • How does a pirate cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw
  • Why did the elf abet the robber? Because it was the right thing to do!
  • What do you call a ghoul’s friend? His boo buddy!

Everyday Giggles

As a parent of a 5-year-old, you know that everyday life is full of humorous moments. Your little one’s perspective on the world can provide endless entertainment. Here are some jokes that revolve around daily routines and family life, providing a relatable and delightful perspective for young children.

At Home Ha-Has

Your own home is full of opportunities for laughter. Why not try out some of these jokes with your child?

  • What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert? “No thanks, I’m stuffed!”
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  • Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? To reach the high notes!
  • What do you call a guy lying on your doorstep? Matt.
  • What did one eye say to the other eye? Between us, something smells.
  • Do you want to hear a joke about a pizza? Never mind, it’s too cheesy!
  • What did one tomato say to the other tomato? You go ahead and I’ll ketchup.
  • What do librarians take when they go fishing? Book worms!

Out and About Chuckles

Going out and about can also be a great source of humor. Here are some jokes to try out on your next outing:

  • Why did the man get a haircut? Because he wanted to trim the grass on his head!
  • Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants!
  • Why did the key open the banana? Because it had a-peel!
  • What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed.
  • What do clouds wear under their clothes? Thunder-wear.
  • What did the volcano say to the other? I lava you.
  • What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield.
  • What does a clam do on his birthday? He shellabrates.
  • How does a vampire start a letter? “Tomb it may concern…”
  • How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
  • What did the right eye say to the left eye? Between us, something smells.
  • What do you call a ghost’s lover? His ghoul-friend.
  • Why can’t Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
  • How do you keep intruders out of a castle made of cheese? Moatzarella. 
  • What has a head and tail but no body? A coin.
  • Where will you find Friday before Thursday? A dictionary.
  • What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
  • What did the mom flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
  • Why was the computer chilly? It left a window open.
  • What kind of award did the dentist receive? A little plaque.
  • What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
  • Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!
  • What do you call a dinosaur with glasses? Do-you-think-he-sarus
  • What does a Triceratops sit on? Its tricerabottom
  • What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? dino-snore
  • What did the dinosaur use to build her house?Dino-saw
  • Why don’t you see dinosaurs at Easter? Because they’re eggs-tinct!
  • What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!

Classic Knock-Knocks

Knock-knock jokes are a classic form of humor that has been enjoyed by children and adults alike for generations. These jokes are simple and easy to remember, making them perfect for entertaining 5-year-olds.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold outside.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Deja vu. Deja vu who? Knock knock!  

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Eyesore. Eyesore who? Eyesore do love you.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Look. Look who? Look through the peephole and find out.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Says. Says who? Says me!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Woo. Woo who? Glad you’re excited, too.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help right now!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, a cow says mooooo!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Owls. Owls who? They sure do!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Cargo. Cargo who? Car go beep beep!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Yoda lady. Yoda lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Wah. Wah who? It’s-a me, Mario!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Yah. Yah who? No, I use Google.

Knock knock! Who’s there? Spell. Spell who? W-h-o.

Knock knock! Who’s there? Pecan. Pecan who? Pecan somebody your own size!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Wafer. Wafer who? Wafer me — I’m coming!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Radio. Radio who? Radio not, here I come!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel!

This knock-knock joke is a classic that has been around for decades. It’s simple, silly, and easy for 5-year-olds to understand. The punchline is unexpected and will have your little ones giggling.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and I love you too!

Silly Science

Science can be a lot of fun, especially when it comes to silly science jokes! Here are some space and nature-themed jokes that are sure to make your 5-year-old laugh.

Space Jokes

  • Why did the astronaut’s baby stop crying? Because he finally found his space pacifier!
  • What do you call a space party? A blast!
  • What do you call a little boogie from outer space? An alien dance!
  • Why did the alien go to the doctor? Because he was feeling a little meteor!

Nature Nonsense

  • Why did the sleeping dinosaur wake up? Because he heard the palm tree snoring!
  • What did the little boogie say to the long necks? “Hey, can I join your herd?”
  • Why did the palm tree go to the doctor? Because it had a trunk infection!
  • How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity? Shocked!

Weather Whimsy

When it comes to weather, there are plenty of jokes that are sure to put a smile on your little one’s face. Here are a few to get you started:

Summer Jokes for Kids

  • Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!
  • What do you call a snowman on a sunny day? A puddle!
  • Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  • What did the pig say on a hot day? I’m bacon.
  • Where do sheep spend their summer vacation? The Baaaaa-hamas.
  • What do you get when you combine an elephant with a fish? Swimming trunks.
  • Why don’t oysters share their pearls? They’re shellfish.
  • How do ducks celebrate 4th of July? Firequackers.
  • Why can’t you blame a dolphin for doing something wrong? They didn’t do it on porpoise.
  • What type of music do whales listen to? Orca-stra.
  • Why did the robot take a summer vacation? He needed to recharge.
  • Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
  • What do cats like to eat in the summer? Mice cream cones.
  • What is a frog’s favorite summertime treat? Hopsicles.
  • What do ghosts like to eat in the summer? I scream.

Rainy Day Rib Ticklers

  • What do you call a wet bear? A drizzly bear!
  • Why did the rain cloud wear a coat? Because it was a little chilly!
  • What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

Winter Jokes For Kids

  • What do you get when you milk a cow in Alaska? Snow.
  • What do you call a snowman who goes on vacation in July? A puddle.
  • Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
  • What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
  • What do you call a snowman on rollerblades? A snowmobile.
  • How do polar bears make their beds? Sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
  • What do snowmen call their kids? Chill-dren.
  • Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter? They have snow caps.
  • What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? A snowball.
  • Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snow bank.
  • What is the best way to decorate a snowman’s birthday cake? Lots of ice-ing.
  • What do you call a snowman’s dog? Slush puppy.
  • What falls in winter but never gets hurt? The snow!
  • Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!

Spring Jokes For Kids

  • What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? If you weren’t so fresh, we wouldn’t be in this jam.
  • What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny.
  • When do monkeys fall from the sky? Ape-ril showers.
  • What can fall but never gets hurt? Rain.
  • Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don’t know the words.
  • What do you call a well dressed cat? A dandy lion.
  • Why did the farmer plant $100 bills? To make his soil rich.
  • How do bees brush their hair? Honeycombs.
  • Why are the trees so forgiving? Every fall they say “Let it go.”
  • What kind of bow can’t be tied? A rainbow.
  • How do bees get to school? A school buzz.
  • What’s a chick’s favorite food? Egg-plant.
  •  If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims!

Fall Jokes for Kids

  • What do you call pumpkin who works at the beach? A life-gourd.
  • Are any Halloween monsters good at math? No, unless you Count Dracula.
  • Which is the cutest of all the seasons? Awww-tumn.
  • Who won the skeleton contest? No body.
  • Why is Dracula so easy to trick? He’s a sucker.
  • What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
  • Why was the jack-o-lantern so afraid? He had no guts.
  • Why did the tree fail their exam? They got stumped on every question.
  • How do trees get on the internet? They log on.
  • Why didn’t the zombie go to school? He felt rotten.
  • How do you fix a broken pumpkin? A pumpkin patch.
  • What did the sick pumpkin say? I don’t feel so gourd.

Math Jokes for Kids

Buckle up, young mathematicians, we’re about to add some fun, subtract the boredom, and multiply the giggles with math jokes that equal a great time!

What are ten things you can always count on? Your fingers.

Why was the equal sign so humble? Because it wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.

What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.

Why was the geometry teacher late to class? She sprained her angle.

What tool is most helpful in a math classroom? Multi-pliers.

What’s a swimmer’s favorite kind of math? Dive-ision.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven, eight, nine.

How do you make seven an even number? Remove the S.

Which king loved fractions? Henry the 8th.

What do you call friends who love math? Alge-bros.

Why is the obtuse triangle always so irritated? Because it’s never right.

What type of carpeting did the geometry teacher use? An area rug.

Do you know what’s odd? Every other number.

What tables don’t require any math? Dinner tables.

Why should you never argue with a 90-degree angle? They are always right.

How does the math teacher plow his farm? A pro-tractor.

Never trust math teachers who use graph paper. They’re always plotting something.

How do you stay warm in every room? Go to the corner, which is always 90 degrees.

Why was the math textbook always so sad? It had a ton of problems.

If a farmer has 199 sheep, how many will he have when he rounds them up? 200.

Which knight created the round table? Sir Cumference.

Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had so many problems!

What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!

Just for Laughs

Looking for some silly jokes to make your 5-year-old laugh? Look no further! Here are some silly jokes that are sure to bring a smile to your child’s face.

Pure Silliness

Sometimes, the best jokes are the ones that don’t make any sense at all. Here are a few examples of pure silliness that your 5-year-old is sure to love:

  • Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
  • Why did the painter use blue paint? Because he wanted to make the sky green.
  • Why did the painter use red paint? Because he wanted to make the grass blue.
  • How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying? You rocket!
  • Why can’t Elsa have a balloon? Because she’ll let it go
  • What kind of room doesn’t have doors? Mushroom
  • Why didn’t the teddy bear want any pudding? Because he was stuffed
  • What day of the week are most twins born on? Twos-day
  • Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field
  • Why did the girl throw a clock out of the window? Because she wanted to see time fly
  • What time should you go to the dentist? Tooth hurty
  • Why did the picture go to prison? Because it was framed
  • What did one eye say to the other? There’s something between us that smells
  • What did the policeman say to his tummy? Freeze. You’re under a vest
  • Why did the banana go to the doctors? It wasn’t peeling well
  • What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you? Pick them up and roll them back
  • What did one snowman ask the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?
  • What kind of tree fits in your hand? Palm tree
  • What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick
  • What kind of music do balloons hate? Pop!
  • What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry
  • How do you throw a space party? You planet
  • What do you call a reindeer with bad manners? Rude-olph
  • How does a train eat? It goes chew chew